I grew up in a bubble…born within a decade of the end of WW2 and the post-war emergence of prosperity for many and a new middle class; it all felt like an American dream.
My early years were filled with schools, summer camp, sports, and friends. Although NYC was still filled with neighborhoods with ethnic boundaries, particularly between whites and blacks, it still felt like a diverse experience for a young boy like me growing up. My Jewish identity was muted and secondary to just being an American kid in the city. I had little concept of how different that experience was to any other kid in another part of the country.
Being Jewish was not a primary aspect of my childhood, my family was a classic example of the NY secular Jewish experience; our connection to Judaism was limited to high holidays and a few years of Hebrew school culminating in a bar mitzvah, this biggest attraction of which was a big party with lots of friends and family. Our family gatherings were full of loud arguments over the current politics of the day. It was a good time and good memories. My grandparents were “modern orthodox” and living in Crown Heights, Bklyn, and embodied the American dream and spoke only English around us and showed a desire to assimilate.
As I became a teen in high school there was very little continued influence from my Jewish identity. My perception of Israel was very limited, and only informed by movies like Exodus with Paul Newman, and the Six Day war in 1967, which seemed to embody a “miraculous victory’ from afar, and was source of pride in showing the strength of the Jewish people against enemies on all sides who wished to defeat them. Israel at that time for me was embodied by the perception of the Kibbutz as a kind of socialist communal experience and resonated as a point of pride versus my perception of the harsh reality of American capitalism. I honestly had very little knowledge at that time in the indigenous Arab or Palestinian population and national movement. In addition, the pronounced involvement of Jewish activists in the USA civil rights movement of the late 1960’s (R. Abraham Heschel in Selma, AL with MLK) was a deep sense of pride, and was central to my foundation of positive Jewish values of inclusivity, diversity and democracy growing up as a minority in the U.S.
Moving to my college years, my world was influenced by the rebellion around me and embracing the newfound freedom of the hippy counterculture. My relation to Judaism was largely extinct and my desire was to embrace new more mystical experiences embodied in Zen Buddhism, Christian and Jewish mystics and the Bhagavad Gita. Before the phrase was in fashion, I embodied the “Ju-Bu” persona and wanted to consider the universal path to spiritual liberation. A lot of false pretenses to be honest, but nonetheless a true inner desire. To me, politics and religion” were the true downfall of humanity.
As I moved into my adult life, my priorities were naturally focused on my family and career. Although I probably would not have thought of it in that way at the time, I probably was running from my Jewish identity in my desire to assimilate and successfully be part of diverse family, friends and an extended business environment. Although I considered myself to be well informed and well-read as an old history major, my knowledge of the ISR/PAL issues and conflict were quite limited, and mostly mis-informed by the perception that the Israeli people and government earnestly sought peace at all times, and it was the perceived “terrorism” of the PLO and Palestinians as enemies who sought continued conflict. When Sadat came to Jerusalem in 1977, and some years later the Madrid conference in 1991, culminated by the Oslo Accords signed by Rabin and Arafat on the White House lawn in September 1993, I was certain that my faith in peace in ISR/PAL was a dream coming to fulfillment. I would have waged everything in that belief.
And then came the harsh winds of reality…Rabin’s assignation by a Jewish extremist in 1995 (perhaps in hindsight the turning point), Sharon’s visit to Temple Mount in 2000 and the rising of the Second intifada, followed by the 9/11 2001 bombing of the WTC, it was all a journey into the abyss of any hope for peace. The following years seemed to be years of collective malaise and the death of any true peace movement. As the tables turned toward the inevitability of continued occupation and growing settlers and the political swing to the right in Israel, it seemed there was little one could do from the diaspora, and best to keep it all at a distance. The collective “tribalism” of all parties, and certainly within my community was at an apex.
Fast forward to the more current time…in 2014 I was deeply impacted by the violence of the Gaza conflict, and at a much later stage of my adult life, suddenly felt a deep desire to participate in communal dialogue. Having no idea how to do so, I embarked on a journey of discovery that has been challenging and rewarding in learning and understanding. Participating at times in J-Street at a deeper level as a District Advocate and on the Bay Area Exec Committee, having participated in meetings in Rep Pelosi’s and Sen Feinstein’s offices has been a great experience. Further tracking and participation with the New Israel Fund, ALLMEP, If Not Now and myriad other events and organizations has been an amazing growth experience. In 2017, I met Libby and Len Traubman, and having become aware of the local history of the J-P Living Room Dialogue group, was honored to become a participant, and its work and the knowledge gained in the necessity of Dialogue skills and people to people understanding as part of a “public peace” process, is a cornerstone of my experience.
Finally, becoming a founding Board member (2017 to 2022) of the AFCfP in support of the Combatants for Peace organization, an organization of Palestinian and Israeli grassroots activists (and ex combatants) whose work on the ground in the West Bank with Palestinian communities, educational work in ISR and PAL and the USA, as well as their communal outreach in their participation in annual Joint Memorial and Nakba Day ceremonies and other high profile events, has been the highlight of my work and allowed me a window on the ground of this conflict and the reality of its impact.
Unfortunately, today, now 10+ years after embarking on this rather amazing and personally enriching journey, it all feels hopeless and can easily be viewed as helpless. My lifelong journey in my Jewish identity has been shattered in the disappointing reality of viewing the Israeli leadership and society, as well as the organized American Jewish community being now completely alien to the “Jewish values” that I grew up to embrace and understand. It has created a void and anger in my life and activism, as well as a void in my spiritual life that is hard to fathom.
In addition, there is my growing frustration in my view of the broader communal work we do as a “Peace Advocates” in the ongoing resistance of our joint communities; including the continued resistance to “normalization” between activists of all stripes, including the Jewish as well as the Palestinian leadership and diaspora communities in bringing our efforts together, needed in my view more now than ever. I am communicating what I feel from where I sit in these efforts, that we need a “new language” and a way of working together to succeed in these communal efforts.
That being said, I truly believe in the power of change from the ground up. As described in my brief story of the experience I have lived, particularly as youth in the 1960’s and early 1970’s; we have seen how people can still change the world and how “history” (really our collective stories) can flip on the dime when least expected.
It will be my internal faith to the end of my days to follow this path to its conclusion. “Imagine” what we can accomplish if we have the strength to follow our ideals and humanity.
Yes, it sounds like a John Lennon song, but imagine if peace came to be in the holy land…it could change the course of human history and our collective story.
Don Raphael, San Francisco, CA